Memento · Mori

I promise a genuine entry (and even some pics) and some pics later this week. But for now, I'm bored and decided to follow in Higgy's walk down memory lane. This is the first LJ quiz I ever did... ( April 10, 2003 )

So where to start.

I'm in Vancouver. Or Vancity (as the locals call it). I suppose that is an appropriate place to start. And yes, I like it here. Although I don't feel like I've been here long enough to pass a proper judgment. The mountains and ocean may be the most breathtaking thing I've ever seen.

School has been a whirlwind so far. It feels like I am always reading which I like... and I don't... all at the same time. I am in the same classes with what appears at this timely juncture of ten days seems like a truly rockin' group of people. The graduate program in political science has a real sense of community here which I appreciate. And the fact that my current friends here mirror my friends in other places. Or maybe I just frame it all that way in my mind to make myself feel more at home.

I've also been spending a lot of time doing random administrative stuff that comes with getting settled in a new school.

My program here is a one year program. So I am already applying to doctoral programs. I could be starting my doctorate next summer. Which I don't feel like I am smart/old/other accomplished adjective enough to do. This all means I am most likely not coming home next summer as I need to write my Masters thesis or if I do, I will be writing and certainly not working at the Fort. The longer I am away from there, the closer I get to the person I want to be.

I have reconcilled myself to the fact that I am an academic and that is what I need to do as my job. I shouldn't be taking off four months a year to go and play fur trade. And I don't really want to do that anymore.

Oh, my department is in the ghetto. Temporarily. While they build us a new pretty department. Opening after I am gone.

I took some pictures of my College (where I am living) and wanted to post them here. But forgot my cord at home so when it gets here I will post said photos.

Socially, I have been spending a good deal of time with three political science master's students. Namely two political theorists and a recovering Canadian politics student. They are fun. We drink beer and wine and talk about Heidegger. It is my dream world where people are like me. It's a litte too utopian and ideal for nothing to go horribly wrong. I'll keep you posted when the shit is destined to the hit the fan.

The more I think about it, the more I think the Weakerthans were writing about graduate schools and the experience of having all your friends grow up and me clinging to my studenthood. Venemently.

I think this graduate school thing is going to work out just fine. I love the fact that I am taking three courses a semester which really will give me a chance to pay attention to them.

WINTER 2006
Monday
Political Theory (Core Seminar) 2:00 PM-5:00 PM
Tuesday
The Theory and Politics of Identity 9:30 AM-12:30 PM
Friday
Canadian Government and Politics (Core Seminar) 2:00 PM-5:00 PM

SPRING 2007
Monday
Contemporary Democratic Theory 10:00 AM-1:00 PM
Wednesday
Canadian Political Thought 2:00 PM-5:00 PM
Thursday
Contemporary Political Theory 10:00 AM-1:00 PM

I'm thinking good thoughts.

So I've been home for a couple of weeks now. I still haven't gotten to pull the weeds out of my garden. Today it was 2 with a windchill of -3. Apparently Mother Nature didn't get the memo indicating it was May. Someone should work on cutting out the red tape.

Speaking of red tape, orientation at the fort starts tomorrow. I am one of the few members of the BVT girls club left in BVT. Sometimes I worry that I am clinging to something that has died. That I really should move on and find something more profitable. That maybe I should start growing up. That maybe this all isn't worth my time anymore. Not to say that this will not be a fun summer, but that it is time. I can feel it in my bones. I'm getting restless. Last summer, I thought it was just needing a change of job posting or area. Now, I'm thinking that I might need to move on altogether. I have a tendency to get like this every four years. I don't want to become one of those fort employees who needs to high/drunk everyday to get through life. To quoth Belle and Sebastian: "Oooh get me away from here I'm dying."

I have started hanging out with a lot of my friends from high school again. It is a bizarre turn of events. Considering like two years ago, I barely talked to any of them. Today I hung out with Rachel and Ryan before Ryan goes on a tour of Southeast Asia for six weeks. On Tuesday, I hung out with Aleksa. She has become quite the pothead. I have never smoked a lung before. But man, I got so frickin' high for like 10 hours. It was a little bit too intense for my liking. It's like when you wake up the next morning after a crazy drinking binge and you are still drunk. And all you want to be is NOT drunk. It was like that. All I wanted to be was NOT high. But sadly I was high. That paragraph made me sound like I have a substance abuse problem.

I'm listening to the playlist of songs that I made for Kaitlin when she came to visit Ottawa over thanksgiving and that we listened to at her house when we were playing Trival Pursuit 90s edition over Christmas and every time a song would come on I would be like "WOW, I LOVE this song!" And someone else would say, "Kyla you made this CD!" everytime. I was high. It was funny. Higgy found the letter L. Jim opened our red wine. That was GTs.

My birthday is coming up. I think I want to go out dancing. Birthdays are significantly less exciting these days. Just an excuse to get a little dressed up and go out. Kind of like St. Patrick's Day. But with less green. I just had a brainstorm. I'm going to have a St. Patrick's Day themed birthday party. Because it is arbitrary.

Since coming back to TBay I have developed a TV schedule, started a regular pilates routine, weeded my garden, bought fierce high heels, and spent a lot of time with Darlene who is returning to Edmonton to learn french tomorrow. Here are some photos from the last month.

( GTs in O-town, TBay and new haircuts )

I am undecisive. And confused about what I want, what is best for me, and what I should do. I hate making decisions.

This is how this works: Comment on this entry and I will give you a letter. Write ten words beginning with that letter in your journal, including an explanation what the word means to you and why. Then pass out letters to those who want to play along.

The lovely Ms. Blake gave me the letter Q.

In no particular order...

1) Quality is much more important that quantity. In fact, the urge in academica to quantize everything is quite frightening. Concepts like civic virtue can only be discussed in a qualitative way. Quality is important. Even in it's shortened 'qual' form.

2) Queen. It's an institution that I'm not fond of. Kind of like a big black hole where we pour money. On the other hand, I appreciate my tendency to be a drama queen. Although it often leads into fears of being isolated and alone and a tendency to act out when angered. Maybe it is not the most fabulous tendency of mine.

3) Quail. This is a bird. My uncle hunts them.

4) Quaker could be oats. Or could be a pacifist who loves Jesus.

5) Question is the best sentence structure. It provides for a moment to justify, to explain, and to promote greater understanding. It always important to question yourself and to question the world around you. There are few generalizations that I am comfortable with but that is one. Always expect authoirity to justify itself. Question authority. It is the only absolute check on tyranny and corruption. It is our own ignorance that allows for the misuse of power.

6) Quarter. My favourite piece of change. The only useful kind of change.

7)Quirky can be endearing, can be bizarre and is always me.

8)Quilt is my favourite kind of bed-dressing. However, I have never had the patience to learn. I still have the quilt that Leah made me in grade 12. It is one of the most thoughtful things anyone has ever given me.

9)Quote. One of my favourite things to do. I enjoy scholarly pursuits. Research is beautiful.

10) Quest. To me connotates, passion, drive, ambition, survival, empowerment, the ability to overcome. All things I value. Things I seek to embody.

Perhaps I should post about what it is like to be back in TBay. However, that is still left to be discovered.

20 years ago I...
1) was 1 year old
2) my parents had just moved into their house in Westfort
3) was taught by my Papa the joys of black olives

10 years ago I...
1) was 11 years old
2) did not understand why my parents would not let me have a sleepover birthday party
3) did a class project on the FLQ Crisis

5 years ago I...
1) was 16 years old
2) liked patching up my old jeans and wearing them... even with patches upon patches
3) was dating a drug dealer

3 years ago I...
1) was 18 years old
2) was just finishing my first year here at Carleton
3) got my job at the fort

1 year ago I...
1) was deciding which graduate schools to apply to
2) had picked my thesis advisor (so hot...) and my thesis topic
3) could forsee impending boy drama

So far this past year I...
1) learnt more than is imaginable about Kymlicka, minority rights and liberalism
2) have re-discovered by undying love for Jose
3) have been admitted a member of Green College

Yesterday I...
1) wrote the first of my last exams
2) drank some beers at the Honest Lawyer
3) rocked the leggings and jean skirt combo (and you thought I would never dare...)

Today I...
1) moved out the last of the roomies
2) dealt with some minor Reid family drama
3) wrote my second exam

Tomorrow I will...
1) sleep in
2) pack like a mad woman
3) eat a lot of Mr. Noodles (because that is all the food that is left in my desolate townhouse)

In the next year I will...
1) be living in the fabulous city of Vancouver
2) be having lots of adventures
3) begin applications for my doctoral studies

So here I be at my second last desk shift of all time. It is glorious. Tomorrow and then I am free from my torturous employment with the Carleton University Department of Housing and Conference Services.

Apparently the fort has their summer employment meeting tomorrow. So I will soon (read: eventually) find out what form my summer employment there will take. I'm still hoping although I am not counting on it.

I am becoming more and more excited to move to Vancouver in September. It's going to be such a wonderful adventure. I get the feeling that me and the Pacific Ocean are going to be fast friends. And everyone wants a fabulous friend they can come and visit in Vancouver, right?

My schedule for the next week is PACKED. I have 3 exams, many boxes to pack and many friends to bid farewell. That is one thing that hasn't really sunk in yet. That this is the last time that I will see most of these individuals. It tooks like the Tara is off to Australia in late May. Although I have made her promise to fly in and out of Vancouver.

Oh well, I should probably so and be a good desk clerk, or study, or work on the nomination letter I have to write for Darran. Or answer that bloody phone.

Instructions:
1. Type your birthday (minus the year) in the Wikipedia search bar.
2. List three historical events, two births, and one death that happened on your birthday.
~~~
3 Historical Events:
1. 1642 - Paul Chomedey, sieur de Maisonneuve (1612–1676) founds the Ville Marie de Montréal.
2. 1919 - Committee of One Thousand forms to oppose Winnipeg General Strike.
3. 1954 - The United States Supreme Court hands down a unanimous decision in Brown v. Board of Education of Topeka, Kansas.

2 Births:
1. 1551 - Martin Delrio, Flemish theologian and occultist (d. 1601)
2. 1900 - Ruhollah Khomeini, Iranian Muslim cleric (d. 1989)

1 Death:
1. 1727 - Catherine I of Russia

Step 1: Put your MP3 player or whatever on random.
Step 2: Post the first line from the first 20 songs that play, no matter how embarrassing the song.
Step 3: Post and let everyone you know guess what song and artist the lines come from.
Step 4: Bold the songs when someone guesses correctly.

#1: I know it is freezing but I think we have to walk.
#2: Like glass shattering in clear break.
#3: Everything bleak. It's the middle of the night.
#4: Through alleyways to cool off in the shadows.
#5: It was Don Delillio, whiskey, me, and a blinking midnight clock.
#6: When I sat down on the bed next to you, you started to cry.
#7: Apartment in New York, London and Paris. Where will we rest, we're all living on top of it.
#8: Love, what did you have to go away?
#9: I take my orders from the street lights, the wind is at my shoulder.
#10: Do you want know what goes on? Do you want to know what goes on?...
#11: Soldier, your eyes shine like the sun, I wonder why.
#12: Us middle-aged men just completing finishing touches on a dope deal.
#13: Let the waitress put the chairs up. Let the glasses that she broke.
#14: Don't be scared to leave him, you've be sad all season.
#15: I tell you how I feel but you don't care. I say tell me the truth and you don't dare.
#16: We went out one night. Everything went right.
#17: All I can see is black and white and white and pink.
#18: The air comes off the ocean and the city smells fishy.
#19: Vultures in helicopters overhead and brokendown.
#20: I feel the rain fall down my back, I'm going back to my place of work to get things done to get them right.

1) I am 90% I am going to UBC next year. Anyone want to help me move to Vancouver? Anyone? Anyone?.... I hear about the residence I want to get into ( http://www.greencollege.ubc.ca ) on Thursday or Friday. That might seal the deal. Unless I win an OGS... There is so many layers to the decision. It's almost to the point where I don't want to talk about it anymore.

2) I am now done my full draft of my thesis. Only very basic edits are left. I can taste the end. And, my friends, the end tastes sweet. However, my advisor has yet to email me back about meeting. But he is always tardy with the emails.

3) I am down one roommate. She moved out on Saturday and officially returned the keys on today. It's an in-person story for those who are interested. Let's just say it involved a boyfriend and him being here all the fuckin' time. Even when no one was home. *Deep Breaths*

4) As I'm sure some of you are aware I've been planning to get a picture of my (hot) thesis advisor for quite sometime now. I think I have finally figured out how. He is coming out for the Political Science Society Annual Pub Night and I plan on taking a picture there which is less creepy. Or more creepy because I am planning it. I feel like the academic paparazzi. On a completely unrelated note, our political science society president is a bit of a dictator. The irony is not lost on me.